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It requires either the good fortune to be in a loving relationship, or more often, therapy is required to heal the wounds of childhood.Much of this is done through the relationship with a trusted, empathic therapist over time.See Feeling worthy of love is essential to attracting and maintaining it.In the same way that we might shun a compliment we don’t feel we deserve, we will not be interested and able to sustain a relationship with someone who is generous in loving us.When one partner is addicted, the other may feel neglected, because the addiction comes first.Also, without recovery, codependents, which include all addicts, have difficulty in sustaining intimacy.If you’re discontented in a relationship or go from one to another or even remain unhappily alone, you may be caught in a worsening cycle of abandonment.



Of course, when there is high conflict, abuse, addiction, or infidelity, these emotional needs go unmet.(See my blog Often people are in emotionally abandoning relationships that replicate the emotional abandonment they experienced in childhood from one or both of their parents.Children need to feel loved and accepted by both parents.Most people think they shouldn’t have to ask, but after the first rush of romance when strong hormones drive behavior, many couples get into routines that lack intimacy.